Lessons from Cupids

Lessons from Cupids by Nicole Colene Chua

http://lessonsfromcupids.wordpress.com

Reviewed by m_girl07 @ my sensation

Story Title: 4/5

-Your title is cute and catchy but I don’t see how it relates to your story yet. It’ll probably come up later on which is why I didn’t take off too much.

Appearance: 9/10

-The appearance is different because it’s an actual website rather than something on soompi or winglin but it is still very organized and everything was tagged properly.

Forewords: 10/10

-After clicking around, I found what would be your forewords. You introduced yourself, described the characters and the plot=).

Plot: 13/15

-Your plot made sense and was very steady. You kept it interesting and didn’t have too much detail or dialogue=).

Characterization: 7/10

-I got a feeling of what each of the characters was like but some of their characteristics didn’t really flow with whom they were. For example, they’ve both never been kissed but yet they are comfortable with kissing and showering together?!

Creativity/Originality: 6/10

-Like I said, your story is interesting but it’s nothing I haven’t heard before. Two people who hate each other start to become friends and eventually fall in love. Yours is a bit different though because you have “guardians” looking after them.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10

-For the most part, your grammar is great! There are just a few little things but nothing too big. I’ll point them out so you know what I’m talking about=):

“Chun quickly stole Ella’s thesis papers and run briskly as fast as he can.” (Chapter 1)

-Take out “briskly” because it makes the sentence sound weird and replace “run” to “ran”.

“Due to the fact that she accepted Aaron as her boyfriend. The problems started to arise, and their siblings were the roots of the problem.” (Chapter 2)

-Since it’s the same idea, you can use a comma instead of a period.

“Go as many places as you can and share how these places mean to you.” (Chapter 3)

-Replace “how” with “what”.

“Chun’s muscles did caught her attention. Wait, did she said that Chun is handsome?” (Chapter 3)

-Replace “caught” with “catch” because it’s happening at the moment and her opinion of his muscles hasn’t changed.

Flow: 8/10

-Your flow was very steady. The only thing I’d mention again is some of the things that happened between Chun and Ella. They seem to be moving along very quickly and they’ve done stuff that “friends” wouldn’t normally do.

Writing Style: 13/15

-You writing style is light and refreshing. I like reading what you wrote and you also had a bit of description for certain parts=D.

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5

-I enjoyed your fanfic and it entertained me=)

Total: 81/100

Bonus: 3/5

-I love Chun, he’s my favourite FLH member but I don’t see what the big deal is with Chunella is, even after Hana Kimi=p.

Overall Total: 84/100