She's All That
Author: cutterpillow
Story Title: She's All That
Story URL: winglin.net/fanfic/SAT
Reviewer: Darkess
*My reviews are not meant to harm or discourage the author, but to help them fix their stories and do better in the future. The opinions expressed in this review are mine and mine alone, and are not meant to offend you*
`Story Title : 2/5
It honestly doesn't fit at all. She's All That is normally something you'd say about a snobby person, but you were trying to portray that Rosa wasn't snobby at all.
`Appearance: 8/10
The poster and colors are cute, but it didn't really pull me in and make me want to read more of the story.
`Forewords: 10/10
You had an interesting hook in your forewords that could make the reader want to stick around for more.
`Plot: 11/15
This was really cliche >.< very predictable.
`Characterization: 6/10
A lot more detail on personal lives would have been good. With the small detail there is about them, I didn't really care what happened to them in the story T.T
`Creativity/Originality: 7/10
The ending... not so creative. Neither were them being stuck together to do a job over break. It's the plot in a lot of stories nowadays, and I think that you could definately come up with something more unique to put in there.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : /10
You switch tenses a LOT and it's really hard as a reader to read successfully. As you'll see in the FP review I did for you, I put all of your mistakes into present tense because that was how you started the story off as. Honestly as well I think you can drop the random swearing in the story. It isn't necessary
`Flow: 10/10
Kind of confusing at times, but I was able to figure it out ^^
`Writing Style: 12/15
The way that you piece your story together is unique, and I liked the little tidbits or scenes that you randomly scattered throughout your story.
`Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
I did like this story a little bit. It was intriguing and once I got to like the 7th chapter I wanted to make sure that I knew what the ending was going to be.
`Total : 70/100
`Bonus : 5/5
I hate bonuses o.o there's no point
Overall Total: 75/105
Story Title: She's All That
Story URL: winglin.net/fanfic/SAT
Reviewer: Darkess
*My reviews are not meant to harm or discourage the author, but to help them fix their stories and do better in the future. The opinions expressed in this review are mine and mine alone, and are not meant to offend you*
`Story Title : 2/5
It honestly doesn't fit at all. She's All That is normally something you'd say about a snobby person, but you were trying to portray that Rosa wasn't snobby at all.
`Appearance: 8/10
The poster and colors are cute, but it didn't really pull me in and make me want to read more of the story.
`Forewords: 10/10
You had an interesting hook in your forewords that could make the reader want to stick around for more.
`Plot: 11/15
This was really cliche >.< very predictable.
`Characterization: 6/10
A lot more detail on personal lives would have been good. With the small detail there is about them, I didn't really care what happened to them in the story T.T
`Creativity/Originality: 7/10
The ending... not so creative. Neither were them being stuck together to do a job over break. It's the plot in a lot of stories nowadays, and I think that you could definately come up with something more unique to put in there.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[
You switch tenses a LOT and it's really hard as a reader to read successfully. As you'll see in the FP review I did for you, I put all of your mistakes into present tense because that was how you started the story off as. Honestly as well I think you can drop the random swearing in the story. It isn't necessary
`Flow: 10/10
Kind of confusing at times, but I was able to figure it out ^^
`Writing Style: 12/15
The way that you piece your story together is unique, and I liked the little tidbits or scenes that you randomly scattered throughout your story.
`Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
I did like this story a little bit. It was intriguing and once I got to like the 7th chapter I wanted to make sure that I knew what the ending was going to be.
`Total : 70/100
`Bonus : 5/5
I hate bonuses o.o there's no point
Overall Total: 75/105
posted by my sensation at
6:40 PM
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