{365 days.} from me to you.
Title: {365 days.} from me to you.
Author: tealeaf.
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/tealeaf/
Reviewer: jjwyl
`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -4/5
Because your name had other things rather then just letters, it’s bound to attract the eyes. In some ways, it also did connect with the story itself.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -8/10
The poster looks amazing. It really gives me that ‘awaiting’ feel. And the font is readable with the background color. But one thing is, the background seems a bit blank and plain.
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -9/10
The foreword was interesting. You made your foreword into what seemed like a letter.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -13/15.
It’s just that she died because of her love for Jaejoong, that’s the part I find cliché. In a lot of stories, the girl/guy always dies from some sort of accident after their loved one dies.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -8/10
All I was able to retrieve from the main characters is that she’s going insane because Jaejoong is gone and that she loves him very much.
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -8/10
Quite interesting how she kept on writing to Jaejoong even though he was already gone. And I also really liked how you use different options for the endings. But the idea of someone dying after their loved one dies is a bit common in other stories.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -6/10
I see that you have a wide range of vocabulary, which is good. But as for your spelling and grammar, I spotted quite a few mistakes. For example,
Foreword: In the third paragraph, you probably meant to write BEHIND. Instead, you wrote BEHING. Also, “I can still recall, I looked up with eyes wandering. What I would do for the we shared to come flooding back.” I don’t understand these two sentences.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -9/10.
I think you were able to keep the timing and pace really well. But the ending, it seemed a bit rushed. She said she was in pain because Jaejoong was not there anymore, but I think she died kind of too quickly.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -12/15
The chapters are too short. If readers are like me, they would want chapters that are longer, so it provides more information and keep them coming back for more. Next time, try to make the chapters longer, instead of just a couple paragraphs.
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -2/5
I guess it’s because Jaejoong didn’t actually appear and because the chapters were too short.
`Total : -79/100
`Bonus : -1/5
For having Jaejoong in the story. I love him!
Overall Total: -80/100
Author: tealeaf.
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/tealeaf/
Reviewer: jjwyl
`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -4/5
Because your name had other things rather then just letters, it’s bound to attract the eyes. In some ways, it also did connect with the story itself.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -8/10
The poster looks amazing. It really gives me that ‘awaiting’ feel. And the font is readable with the background color. But one thing is, the background seems a bit blank and plain.
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -9/10
The foreword was interesting. You made your foreword into what seemed like a letter.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -13/15.
It’s just that she died because of her love for Jaejoong, that’s the part I find cliché. In a lot of stories, the girl/guy always dies from some sort of accident after their loved one dies.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -8/10
All I was able to retrieve from the main characters is that she’s going insane because Jaejoong is gone and that she loves him very much.
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -8/10
Quite interesting how she kept on writing to Jaejoong even though he was already gone. And I also really liked how you use different options for the endings. But the idea of someone dying after their loved one dies is a bit common in other stories.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -6/10
I see that you have a wide range of vocabulary, which is good. But as for your spelling and grammar, I spotted quite a few mistakes. For example,
Foreword: In the third paragraph, you probably meant to write BEHIND. Instead, you wrote BEHING. Also, “I can still recall, I looked up with eyes wandering. What I would do for the we shared to come flooding back.” I don’t understand these two sentences.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -9/10.
I think you were able to keep the timing and pace really well. But the ending, it seemed a bit rushed. She said she was in pain because Jaejoong was not there anymore, but I think she died kind of too quickly.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -12/15
The chapters are too short. If readers are like me, they would want chapters that are longer, so it provides more information and keep them coming back for more. Next time, try to make the chapters longer, instead of just a couple paragraphs.
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -2/5
I guess it’s because Jaejoong didn’t actually appear and because the chapters were too short.
`Total : -79/100
`Bonus : -1/5
For having Jaejoong in the story. I love him!
Overall Total: -80/100
posted by my sensation at
10:19 AM
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