Always Too Late

Title: Always Too Late

Author: Vi3tjcn

URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/Vi3tjcn1/

Reviewer: jjwyl

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -2/5

Too be honest, your title is a bit plain. There doesn’t seem to be a deeper meaning to it. But a reason why I would click on it would be because the title looks neat.

`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -6/10

I think the poster, for other people may look nice and simple, but for me, I think it’s too plain. Yes, the pictures are nice. But the words for the title are too small and are in places where it doesn’t catch my attention. The colors are too dull, and don’t attract attention. Try to add other colors to make it livelier because black, grey, and white seems to be for depressing and really sad stories. But your story wasn’t really that sad.

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -1/10

Your foreword tells us NOTHING what the story is about. Don’t be sad that I gave you a one for this category, but you really should add something in there to hook the readers so they’ll continue with your story. If I saw your foreword with nothing, I wouldn’t even bother clicking the Next button. I’d just skip right next to the next story.

`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -8/15.

I don’t have much to say. But in all stories, people use roses as the main flower. Try to pick something with a different feel. And a love triangle? I’ve read lots of those already. And I was really surprised about the ending. I thought that Donghae would finally get Jessica, but I guess I was wrong.

`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -5/10

Other then Donghae, I didn’t know how the other characters were like. You should have also described how Jessica’s dress was like or how her make up was or how her hair looked like at prom. You should have also added some information in the foreword.

`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -7/10

Not really creative and not really original. I’ve seen lots of stories how seniors get rejected or someone steals their love away before he/she can do anything.

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -3/10

I noticed that you used your tenses wrong and also, there were some places where you needed an apostrophe. For example, “He was the schools top dog, number 1, numero uno.” Instead of ‘schools’, it should have been ‘school’s’. Also, I saw that you like really short sentences. There were lots of places where you should have used a comma instead of a period. Your grammar is not really good either. For example, “Donghae couldn’t possible not come over there.” You have to make sure your tenses and grammar is good.

`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -7/10.

I liked the flow, but I think the prom part was a bit too fast. It seemed like Jessica didn’t even like Jaebeom really much. You could have written about her feelings more or maybe just lengthen the entire story.

`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -12/15

Other then the fact that there were too much sentences and no paragraphs, everything else was alright. Next time, try to add sentences together to form a paragraph instead of having so much single sentences. It will make it a lot neater.

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -4/5

Yeah, it was captivating. But I didn’t like the ending at all.

`Total : -55/100

`Bonus : -1/5

Just because you didn’t let Jessica have Donghae. I don’t like SNSD but I love Donghae.

Overall Total: -56/100