I love my sister’s boyfriend

Title: I love my sister’s boyfriend

Author: Khimme

URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/Ayumu2/

Reviewer: jjwyl

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -3/5

It looks exciting because I love reading drama! Just looking at the title would make me thing there would be a lot of drama in it.

`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -9/10

The poster looks great. The colors mix well with each other. But I think the title of the story should be a bit darker. The title on the poster is really hard to see.

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -6/10

The foreword is way too short. There’s not enough detail in there to make me want to continue reading the rest.

`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -10/15.

The plot sounds really corny and cheesy. I wasn’t really able to see any climax in the plot, but I guess that’s because there’s only a couple chapters so far.

`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -6/10

I didn’t get enough information about each character. You didn’t describe how they looked or how they dress much.

`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -6/10

It’s not something I read everyday, but it’s also not very original. I’ve seen stories like “I fell in love with my brother’s friend.” Or something along the lines of that.

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -7/10

I noticed that you didn’t capitalize some of the ‘I’s’. Every now and then, I spot a grammar mistake, but it’s nothing too big.

`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -5/10.

The story is developing way too fast. In the very first chapter, they already kiss. It was like, once Jaejoong stared at her in the eyes, he instantly fell in love with her. Try to slow down their feelings for each other.

`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -12/15

Other then the capitalizing and the “____” everything else is fine to me.

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -4/5

`Total : -68/100

`Bonus : -1/5

Overall Total: -69/100