Keep It In The Closet
Title: Keep It In The Closet
Author: bluenight
URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/bluenight/
Reviewer: jwyl
`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -3/5
It wasn’t really unique, but if I were to look at your title, I don’t know why, but I would find it to be a comedy. And personally, I like comedy stories.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -7/10
Since you said the poster and background aren’t really finished yet, I can’t give you too bad of a score. But I’d have to give you marks off for not having it ready. Sorry.
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -5/10
It didn’t really tell much about the story itself. And for me, it was a bit too gay. I don’t really like Yaoi stories, sorry.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -7/15.
Can’t really tell what the plot is right now because it’s so short.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -8/10
You gave great detail on how Jaejoong was and you described YeJin and Yunho already. Though, I would recommend putting a bit more detail in YeJin and Yunho’s descriptions.
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -9/10
Truthfully, even though I’m not a fan of Yaoi, it’s something new to me, so I thought it was pretty cool.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -9/10
I don’t think there were much mistakes in your writing. But sometimes when I read a sentence, I felt like the words didn’t really match/connect with the whole sentence.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -6/10.
The flow was too fast. You wrote about him loving Yunho but then all of a sudden he goes on a date with YeJin. Then you say that she suggests going yachting together. I think the speed is just a bit too fast. Try to slow it down a bit.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -13/15
I quite liked your style. But I think you should bunch up a couple sentences to form a paragraph. It’d be a lot easier to read and would look a lot neater.
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -2/5
First, it’s just too short to actually get any enjoyment. And second, I’m not a Yaoi fan, so that’s probably another reason.
`Total : 69-/100
`Bonus : -2/5
Overall Total: -71/100
Author: bluenight
URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/bluenight/
Reviewer: jwyl
`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -3/5
It wasn’t really unique, but if I were to look at your title, I don’t know why, but I would find it to be a comedy. And personally, I like comedy stories.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -7/10
Since you said the poster and background aren’t really finished yet, I can’t give you too bad of a score. But I’d have to give you marks off for not having it ready. Sorry.
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -5/10
It didn’t really tell much about the story itself. And for me, it was a bit too gay. I don’t really like Yaoi stories, sorry.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -7/15.
Can’t really tell what the plot is right now because it’s so short.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -8/10
You gave great detail on how Jaejoong was and you described YeJin and Yunho already. Though, I would recommend putting a bit more detail in YeJin and Yunho’s descriptions.
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -9/10
Truthfully, even though I’m not a fan of Yaoi, it’s something new to me, so I thought it was pretty cool.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -9/10
I don’t think there were much mistakes in your writing. But sometimes when I read a sentence, I felt like the words didn’t really match/connect with the whole sentence.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -6/10.
The flow was too fast. You wrote about him loving Yunho but then all of a sudden he goes on a date with YeJin. Then you say that she suggests going yachting together. I think the speed is just a bit too fast. Try to slow it down a bit.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -13/15
I quite liked your style. But I think you should bunch up a couple sentences to form a paragraph. It’d be a lot easier to read and would look a lot neater.
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -2/5
First, it’s just too short to actually get any enjoyment. And second, I’m not a Yaoi fan, so that’s probably another reason.
`Total : 69-/100
`Bonus : -2/5
Overall Total: -71/100
posted by my sensation at
12:05 PM
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