Love in School

Title: Love in School
Author: lovely_smile3
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/lovely_smile3/
Reviewer: jwyl

Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -1/5

I’m sorry, but I felt that the title seemed very dull to me. If I was on the list of stories, This story would definitely not catch my attention. And it seems like it’s a really common title for stories. Love, School, typical names.


`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -6/10

I’m not much of a big fan of pink, so the background was not working for me. And when I was trying to read it, the word’s color kind of blended in with the background, making it hard to read. I think you should have maybe used black as the font color. But the poster was quite appealing to me. I thought the design was pretty neat.


`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -4/10

Your forward didn’t tell the readers anything about the plot or the story itself. You could have at least maybe hinted what it was about. I didn’t feel like I would be attracted to stories that don’t have a great forward.


`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -8/15

I think it was cliché because a lot of stories on winglin seems to have to do with high school, rich boys, and falling in love and blah blah blah. It’s not really unique and outstanding.


`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -9/10

Since you already talked about the characters in the foreword, I thought you gave quite a clear explanations of each character.


`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -6/10

Again, the plot was not very original and creative, so marks deducted.


`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -6/10

You should double check on grammar or you could get someone else to edit for you before posting that chapter. I found lots of grammar mistakes, for example, for some sentences, I found that you used ‘come’ when you really should have used ‘came’. And same for ‘look’. You should have used ‘looked’.


`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -8/10

I can’t really say that it’s fast because you haven’t finished the story yet. But so far of what I’ve read, it seems to be going at a decent speed.


`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -6/15

For this one, I’ve got to give you a lower mark because your style was very play-like. Instead of using [Someone’s POV], you wrote their names and used [:] after each name and put down what they said. For a story to be good, I think you should have more of a Third Person’s Point of View. Next time, try writing paragraphs instead of lines. Readers would probably like that more.


`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -2/5


`Total : -56/100

`Bonus : -1/5

Overall Total: -57/100