Loving You Hurts
Title: Loving You Hurts
Author: saranghaeyo
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/saranghaeyo_81/
Reviewer: jjwyl
`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -2/5
The title doesn’t seem to have much of a meaning in the story. It also seems a bit common.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -6/10
The poster looks really plain and simple. I would recommend you using a different font style for the title. Also, for the pictures, try to make the colors blend a bit more. The pictures looks too stiff. But the background is nice.
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -3/10
Your foreword tells us nothing about how the story will be like. You should add more information to hook on the readers. The foreword is really important in a story. For me, if the foreword sucks, I don’t continue to read it, I go onto the next story.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -11/15.
I can’t really say much because it’s not completed but it’s just that some part of the story, it seems like the same plot was used in other stories too.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -7/10
Other then having some information in the foreword, I wasn’t really able to tell what kind of personalities each character had. Even if there are minor characters, you should describe their dressing attire.
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -7/10
There are some parts that could be thought a lot better. Two people fighting over one girl, it seems the same in other stories.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -6/10
I saw quite a few grammar mistakes while I was reading. You should try to lengthen your choice of vocabulary too.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -7/10.
Their feelings for one another should be a bit slower. Don’t make them fall in love so fast.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -6/15
Though your writing isn’t messy, I don’t like how you bunched everything together into one HUGE column. You should really separate sentences or paragraphs and put some space in-between them. For some of the sentences, you cut off half way and it goes right into the next line. I tend to not like stories that use “______” as a POV. You should try to stick to a name.
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -1/5
`Total : -56/100
`Bonus : -1/5
For using Yunho.
Overall Total: -57/100
Author: saranghaeyo
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/saranghaeyo_81/
Reviewer: jjwyl
`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -2/5
The title doesn’t seem to have much of a meaning in the story. It also seems a bit common.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -6/10
The poster looks really plain and simple. I would recommend you using a different font style for the title. Also, for the pictures, try to make the colors blend a bit more. The pictures looks too stiff. But the background is nice.
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -3/10
Your foreword tells us nothing about how the story will be like. You should add more information to hook on the readers. The foreword is really important in a story. For me, if the foreword sucks, I don’t continue to read it, I go onto the next story.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -11/15.
I can’t really say much because it’s not completed but it’s just that some part of the story, it seems like the same plot was used in other stories too.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -7/10
Other then having some information in the foreword, I wasn’t really able to tell what kind of personalities each character had. Even if there are minor characters, you should describe their dressing attire.
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -7/10
There are some parts that could be thought a lot better. Two people fighting over one girl, it seems the same in other stories.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -6/10
I saw quite a few grammar mistakes while I was reading. You should try to lengthen your choice of vocabulary too.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -7/10.
Their feelings for one another should be a bit slower. Don’t make them fall in love so fast.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -6/15
Though your writing isn’t messy, I don’t like how you bunched everything together into one HUGE column. You should really separate sentences or paragraphs and put some space in-between them. For some of the sentences, you cut off half way and it goes right into the next line. I tend to not like stories that use “______” as a POV. You should try to stick to a name.
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -1/5
`Total : -56/100
`Bonus : -1/5
For using Yunho.
Overall Total: -57/100
posted by my sensation at
2:04 AM
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