The Teacher
Title: The Teacher
Author: Pretty Bitch
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/MakiloveJae/
Reviewer: jjwyl
`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -3/5
It seemed kind of plane at first glance. It is the kind of title that would make you ponder whether to click on it or not.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -7/10
I really like the overall colors you used for the poster and background. And I like how you added a rainbow on the side of the poster. But try to make the title on the poster more noticeable.
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -7/10
I like stories based on high school life and such, but just by reading the foreword, it seemed like it was cliché. And also try to make the foreword a bit longer, so you could provide more information. Readers like forewords that are appealing because it might be the first thing they look for in a good story.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -13/15.
I liked the plot, even though Jaejoong is really cheesy in this story. I didn’t read it all at once, but it was addicting enough to get me to continue reading.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -8/10
Because you had most of the information on the characters at the beginning, I was able to tell what type of person each of them were. But for Jaejoong, I wasn’t really able to tell exactly what type of person he was. He was so mysterious.
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -7/10
I can’t say for sure, but it I’ve read a couple stories that the boyfriend rapes the girl, the girl gets pregnant, leaves the guy, and then they get back together.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -7/10
You mixed up some of the tenses for parts of the story. For example, I saw in chapter five, you used ‘run’ when it was supposed to be ‘run’.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -8/10.
The beginning was great. But the ending was too fast. I know she still loves Jaejoong, but it seems like her relationship with Yamapi ended too quickly. There wasn’t much about the two of them in the story.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -12/15
I would recommend you putting the sentences together to form a paragraph. It would make it look a lot neater. Everything else seems fine.
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -3/5
It was quite addictive.
`Total : -75/100
`Bonus : -1/5
FOR JAEJOONG
Overall Total: -76/100
Author: Pretty Bitch
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/MakiloveJae/
Reviewer: jjwyl
`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -3/5
It seemed kind of plane at first glance. It is the kind of title that would make you ponder whether to click on it or not.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -7/10
I really like the overall colors you used for the poster and background. And I like how you added a rainbow on the side of the poster. But try to make the title on the poster more noticeable.
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -7/10
I like stories based on high school life and such, but just by reading the foreword, it seemed like it was cliché. And also try to make the foreword a bit longer, so you could provide more information. Readers like forewords that are appealing because it might be the first thing they look for in a good story.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -13/15.
I liked the plot, even though Jaejoong is really cheesy in this story. I didn’t read it all at once, but it was addicting enough to get me to continue reading.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -8/10
Because you had most of the information on the characters at the beginning, I was able to tell what type of person each of them were. But for Jaejoong, I wasn’t really able to tell exactly what type of person he was. He was so mysterious.
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -7/10
I can’t say for sure, but it I’ve read a couple stories that the boyfriend rapes the girl, the girl gets pregnant, leaves the guy, and then they get back together.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -7/10
You mixed up some of the tenses for parts of the story. For example, I saw in chapter five, you used ‘run’ when it was supposed to be ‘run’.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -8/10.
The beginning was great. But the ending was too fast. I know she still loves Jaejoong, but it seems like her relationship with Yamapi ended too quickly. There wasn’t much about the two of them in the story.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -12/15
I would recommend you putting the sentences together to form a paragraph. It would make it look a lot neater. Everything else seems fine.
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -3/5
It was quite addictive.
`Total : -75/100
`Bonus : -1/5
FOR JAEJOONG
Overall Total: -76/100
posted by my sensation at
3:41 PM
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