Fabric Magic
Title: Fabric Magic
Author: th1rd3ye
URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/sss_onew_FM/
Reviewer: jjwyl
`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -4/5
There are two things that catch my attention for titles. One is little symbols and two is the word ‘COMPLETE’. Even though the title might not stand out very much, the name itself looks interesting. If I was just based on the title name itself, I’d definitely take a look.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -9/10
The appearance is awesome. It would totally catch my attention. The first thing on the poster that caught my eyes was the title. I love how they are right in the middle and they have a stand-out font. That picture of Onew definitely is a great one, so a plus on that. The only bad thing I want to say is the background. On the background, there’s an image of the poster implanted on it. I found that when I’m reading and when I get to the spot where that poster image is, the colors seem to blend in a bit and it makes it a bit hard to read because my attention kind of goes to the background instead of the words.
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -8/10
Your foreword is very alluring. When I look at a foreword with neat writing style, I tend to continue, expecting the entire story to be as professional as the foreword. It kept me wanting to continue with the rest of the story. But the one thing that I didn’t really like was the Sneak Preview part. I don’t really like how there are so many of them and in each preview there’s only a couple words.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -13/15.
It clearly was something different and interesting. Through out the entire story, I was anticipated on what would happen next. But I was a bit confused at the beginning. For example, when she used the magic cloth and fell asleep and when she woke up, JinKi was there again.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -7/10
I was able to recognize the love and depression on Shim Yeon towards Jin Ki. I could tell that they loved each other a lot. You described her well when she was mourning over Jin Ki’s death. But I didn’t know too much about Onew.
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -9/10
I thought the idea of using a fabric as a magical love potion was a brilliant and great idea. It’s the first time I’ve actually read about that. It was like the entire story was truly magical and real.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -7/10
I was able to spot a couple mistakes. Just as an example, in the first chapter, you wrote ‘I was living along in a three-room apartment.’ I’m sure you meant ‘I was living alone in a three-room apartment.’ Your grammar seems to be quite well. But you can always make your vocabulary range a bit wider.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -9/10.
Everything was in a great pace, just the ending was a bit rushed.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -14/15
Great writing style. But only thing I would recommend is to bunch a couple sentences together to form a bigger paragraph.
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -4/5
Just at the beginning where I was having trouble on figuring the story out.
`Total : -84/100
`Bonus : -2/5
1) For giving your gratitude towards your readers
2) I’ve read your other stories too, and they all don’t fail to please me.
Overall Total: -86/100
Author: th1rd3ye
URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/sss_onew_FM/
Reviewer: jjwyl
`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -4/5
There are two things that catch my attention for titles. One is little symbols and two is the word ‘COMPLETE’. Even though the title might not stand out very much, the name itself looks interesting. If I was just based on the title name itself, I’d definitely take a look.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -9/10
The appearance is awesome. It would totally catch my attention. The first thing on the poster that caught my eyes was the title. I love how they are right in the middle and they have a stand-out font. That picture of Onew definitely is a great one, so a plus on that. The only bad thing I want to say is the background. On the background, there’s an image of the poster implanted on it. I found that when I’m reading and when I get to the spot where that poster image is, the colors seem to blend in a bit and it makes it a bit hard to read because my attention kind of goes to the background instead of the words.
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -8/10
Your foreword is very alluring. When I look at a foreword with neat writing style, I tend to continue, expecting the entire story to be as professional as the foreword. It kept me wanting to continue with the rest of the story. But the one thing that I didn’t really like was the Sneak Preview part. I don’t really like how there are so many of them and in each preview there’s only a couple words.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -13/15.
It clearly was something different and interesting. Through out the entire story, I was anticipated on what would happen next. But I was a bit confused at the beginning. For example, when she used the magic cloth and fell asleep and when she woke up, JinKi was there again.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -7/10
I was able to recognize the love and depression on Shim Yeon towards Jin Ki. I could tell that they loved each other a lot. You described her well when she was mourning over Jin Ki’s death. But I didn’t know too much about Onew.
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -9/10
I thought the idea of using a fabric as a magical love potion was a brilliant and great idea. It’s the first time I’ve actually read about that. It was like the entire story was truly magical and real.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -7/10
I was able to spot a couple mistakes. Just as an example, in the first chapter, you wrote ‘I was living along in a three-room apartment.’ I’m sure you meant ‘I was living alone in a three-room apartment.’ Your grammar seems to be quite well. But you can always make your vocabulary range a bit wider.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -9/10.
Everything was in a great pace, just the ending was a bit rushed.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -14/15
Great writing style. But only thing I would recommend is to bunch a couple sentences together to form a bigger paragraph.
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -4/5
Just at the beginning where I was having trouble on figuring the story out.
`Total : -84/100
`Bonus : -2/5
1) For giving your gratitude towards your readers
2) I’ve read your other stories too, and they all don’t fail to please me.
Overall Total: -86/100
posted by my sensation at
7:53 AM
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