Painted Emotions
Title: Painted Emotions
Author: ` hottest s h i n e e vip
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/mindeejaeeunO3/
Reviewer: jjwyl
`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -4/5
Because your title has lots of words in it and it is complete, I would click on it and read it because I like stories that are complete. I don’t like waiting for chapters to be updated. It’s good that your title connects with something in your story. I don’t like it when a story’s title has nothing to do with the actual story itself.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -10/10
Your poster looks great. It really gives me that feeling of a piece of art. The pictures do look like paint. And I like the idea of having the poster looking like a movie poster with all the words at the bottom and having the characters right in the middle of the poster. But I would suggest making the title of the story a bit larger, just so it stands out more. The characters in the poster matched the characters in the story nicely. The background is nice and doesn’t get in the way of the reading.
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -7.5/10
Your foreword gives us information on the characters, so that’s good. It’s also very organized and neat looking. But the only thing I would suggest would be to have a slightly longer foreword, just so the readers know a bit more information about the story.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -13.5/15.
I don’t see a lot of painting/dream related stories out there so your plot stood out to me. I could really absorb the information and picture it in my mind. But I found the death of her brother and boyfriend and the cause of her memory loss a bit cliché. There’s so much stories out there that have to do with a car accident.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -8/10
Great job on description in the story. I could tell the emotions that the main character was having. I could also picture the car crash perfectly. You even described her father’s expressions nicely. But I felt like Wonbin could have been described more.
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -8.5/10
This category is around the same criteria as Plot, so for that, I don’t really have much to say. Refer to PLOT.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -9/10
Your spelling and grammar are great but the one thing I would suggest would be to have a wider range of vocabulary, just to make your story look more professional and to look nice.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -8.5/10.
The flow is quite well, but the ending seemed a bit rushed for me. Also, I was confused at one point of the story where she suddenly wakes up and searches up her past.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -13/15
I like your simple and neat writing style. It’s easy to read and not messy at all, something I like. But try to bunch up a couple sentences if you can to form a paragraph so it looks fuller.
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -4/5
A bit disappointed with the ending. I was expecting to have some sort of romance bloom in it.
`Total : -86/100
`Bonus : -3/5
I love Wonbin and I still do, your ending was not predictable, and I love the poster.
Overall Total: -89/100
Author: ` hottest s h i n e e vip
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/mindeejaeeunO3/
Reviewer: jjwyl
`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -4/5
Because your title has lots of words in it and it is complete, I would click on it and read it because I like stories that are complete. I don’t like waiting for chapters to be updated. It’s good that your title connects with something in your story. I don’t like it when a story’s title has nothing to do with the actual story itself.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -10/10
Your poster looks great. It really gives me that feeling of a piece of art. The pictures do look like paint. And I like the idea of having the poster looking like a movie poster with all the words at the bottom and having the characters right in the middle of the poster. But I would suggest making the title of the story a bit larger, just so it stands out more. The characters in the poster matched the characters in the story nicely. The background is nice and doesn’t get in the way of the reading.
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -7.5/10
Your foreword gives us information on the characters, so that’s good. It’s also very organized and neat looking. But the only thing I would suggest would be to have a slightly longer foreword, just so the readers know a bit more information about the story.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -13.5/15.
I don’t see a lot of painting/dream related stories out there so your plot stood out to me. I could really absorb the information and picture it in my mind. But I found the death of her brother and boyfriend and the cause of her memory loss a bit cliché. There’s so much stories out there that have to do with a car accident.
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -8/10
Great job on description in the story. I could tell the emotions that the main character was having. I could also picture the car crash perfectly. You even described her father’s expressions nicely. But I felt like Wonbin could have been described more.
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -8.5/10
This category is around the same criteria as Plot, so for that, I don’t really have much to say. Refer to PLOT.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -9/10
Your spelling and grammar are great but the one thing I would suggest would be to have a wider range of vocabulary, just to make your story look more professional and to look nice.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -8.5/10.
The flow is quite well, but the ending seemed a bit rushed for me. Also, I was confused at one point of the story where she suddenly wakes up and searches up her past.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -13/15
I like your simple and neat writing style. It’s easy to read and not messy at all, something I like. But try to bunch up a couple sentences if you can to form a paragraph so it looks fuller.
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -4/5
A bit disappointed with the ending. I was expecting to have some sort of romance bloom in it.
`Total : -86/100
`Bonus : -3/5
I love Wonbin and I still do, your ending was not predictable, and I love the poster.
Overall Total: -89/100
posted by my sensation at
8:10 PM
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