The Secret of Jonghyun’s Death

Title: The Secret of Jonghyun’s Death

Author: SHINeeFan926

URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/SHINeeFan926/

Reviewer: jjwyl

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -3.5/5

I’m not really a SHINee fan, but because the title had the word ‘Completed’ it would make me want to check it out. Most of the time, I only click on stories that are completed because I don’t want to waste my time waiting for the next chapter to come out.

`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -4/10

The poster was really bad. It didn’t look like an actual poster. It looked more like a picture that you got off the internet. The background is too plain and dull and there is not enough color in the over all appearance.

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -4/10

There’s hardly any information given out about the story in your foreword. In order to grab a reader’s attention, you have to put something interesting in the foreword so they will actually continue on with the rest of the story. A foreword is a really important part of the entire story.

`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -8/15.

I wasn’t really quite able to tell what the moral or theme of the story was. Though, the part where everyone thought Jonghyun had died was kind of twisted and how they found out he has a twin brother.

`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -4/10

I couldn’t tell what type of person they were. They were practically all the same. You should try to describe how their dressing attire is or how they look, etc.

`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -7/10

The part where Jonghyun having a twin brother was kind of unpredictable. There’s not much I can say about this part.

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -8/10

I don’t think I spotted a lot of mistakes in your story. Just sometimes, your grammar tense would be mixed up. But I would recommend you using a wider range of vocabulary.

`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -4.5/10.

I thought the entire story was rushed. Especially near the end when they found out that Jonghyun was kidnapped and not murdered.

`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -11/15

I think overall, your writing style is quite well, but the one thing I would work on would be to separate you single sentences. So, have a space between each paragraph or sentence, just so it looks a lot neater and doesn’t look so bunched up.

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -1/5

`Total : -55/100

`Bonus : -1/5

Overall Total: -56/100