Loving a Bestfriend

Title: Loving a Bestfriend

Author: jie_jie

URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/jie_jie1/

Reviewer: dramafreak4eva @ My Sensation



Story Title: 3/5

The title was okay, it should be best friend, not bestfriend. The title isn’t eye catching and if I were to scroll through the titles for a good story to read, I wouldn’t choose this because of the title, however it does relate to the story.



Appearance: 9/10

I liked the poster but it was funny because it’s too pink. Anyhow, the background was fine, didn’t interfere with the text or anything.



Forewords: 8/10

The forewords were alright, it’s pretty okay. You should’ve added more description on the characters so the readers have an understanding of the characters more. The summary of the plot didn’t tell much but on the other hand, the summary really shouldn’t tell the whole plot because it’ll destroy the story but I thought you needed more questions to bring the readers to you and read the story.



Plot: 12/15

The plot is cliché and you could have improved it by adding your own little things but unfortunately, I didn’t see any of those which pulled down your mark. The ending seemed like it was rushed. I understood the plot well but it’s too common.



Characterization: 6/10

I wished there was more information and description on the characters because most of the information was from the forewords and what I have read.



Creativity/Originality: 6/10

It’s not creative or either original because this type of storyline is commonly used. You didn’t add things of your own which really pulled your score down.



Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10

Everything was pretty well done. You didn’t have many spelling or grammar errors although you had problems with your vocabulary and some punctuation. Here are some of the mistakes:



Ao Quan: Hello everyone I’m Ao Quan..



Correction; Ao Quan: Hello everyone, I’m Ao Quan.



Wang Zi: Hello everyone.. I’m Wang Zi.. I was born here so I can speak same language as you… My mom doesn’t allow me to speak English in our house.. She would always beat me up and scold me if I’ll speak in English. I hope I’ll enjoy my study here in Taiwan..



Correction; Wang Zi: Hello everyone, I’m Wangzi. I was born here so I can also speak the same language as of you. My mom doesn’t allow me to speak English in our house and would always beat and scold me if I do. I hope I’ll enjoy my stay here in Taiwan.



Gui: I’m doing fine you?



Correction; Gui: I’m doing fine, and you?



Wei Yu: Isn’t it obvious? He likes her… He love her to death… Don’t you know his reason of coming back? Wang Zi just spill it out yesterday. He said it’s because of Gui Gui…



Correction: Isn’t it obvious? He likes her and loves her to death. Didn’t you know his reason of coming back? Wang Zi already said it yesterday; it’s because of Gui Gui.



Flow : 7/10

Everything was fine, til the ending. You needed much more information then what you had wrote because it just didn’t end right.



Writing Style: 11/15

First of all, script writing is a big no. Why? Script writing is just not favoured in the reviewer’s community. It makes it messier than usual and sometimes harder to understand the story which in your story had happened. Some parts didn’t make much sense so I recommend you to read over your writing.



Overall Enjoyment: 3/5



Total : 73/100



I highly recommend you not to write in script. I’m a strict reviewer so don’t be let down by my score.